“For the covertly depressed man, what lies at the center of the defense or addiction is the disowned overt depression he has run from. And in the center of the overt depression lies trauma. For some men the underlying injuries are blatant and extreme. For others, they are seemingly mild, even ordinary. And yet, for both, the damage in their capacity to sustain connection to themselves and others may be severe. No matter if the injuries have been quiet or loud, depressed men carry inside a hurt, bewildered boy whom they scarcely know how to care for. The moment of contact with that disavowed pain is the first step toward restoration.”

Real, Terrence. 1997. I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression. New York: Scribner. [From p. 87 of chapter four, “A Band Around the Heart: Trauma and Biology,” pp. 87-112.]

walkingaway

Advertisements

One thought on “Overcoming Covert Male Depression

  1. Every time I see Terrence Real, I think I recognize his name from addiction literature. I haven’t found anything he’s written on the subject, but I like that he has included it as a common effect here. Too many people don’t care to look at the underlying causes of addiction & therefore do not recognize the serious & lasting implications of depression and trauma in seemingly healthy individuals.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s