The Monogamous Family

“THE MONOGAMOUS FAMILY [...] is founded on male supremacy for the pronounced purpose of breeding children of indisputable paternal lineage. [...] Monogamy, then, does by no means enter history as a reconciliation of man and wife and still less as the highest form of marriage. On the contrary, it enters as the subjugation of one sex … Continue reading The Monogamous Family

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The Myth of Sexual Symmetry in Marital Violence

“Research focusing on specific violent events shows that women almost always employ violence in defense of self and children in response to cues of imminent assault in the past and in retaliation for previous physical abuse. [...] Studies of actual cases lend no support to the facile claim that homicidal husbands and wives “initiate similar acts of … Continue reading The Myth of Sexual Symmetry in Marital Violence

Emasculated Men Refuse to Do Chores—Except Cooking

“For some men, these are scary times. Men lost jobs in the recession, and women outnumber them on college campuses. (Some are predicting, in fact, that we’re witnessing the end of men.)As I’ve written, one way some men are responding to their slipping place in the social hierarchy is by supporting Donald Trump, whose rhetoric hearkens to a … Continue reading Emasculated Men Refuse to Do Chores—Except Cooking

Babies, Blood, and Power

“In fact, men often report feeling left out of family life and other things close to the life process. As Sam Keen recounts his experience as a father, for example, the birth of his children left him feeling not only awestruck but profoundly inadequate: In that hour, all my accomplishments--books I had written, works of … Continue reading Babies, Blood, and Power

Visualizing Deviance: The Promiscuous (Heterosexual World of Sport)

Before I was married, I truly lived the bachelor’s life. I’m no Wilt Chamberlain, but as I traveled around NBA cities, I was never at a loss for female companionship. . . . There were just some bachelors almost every woman in L.A. wanted to be with: Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, and Magic Johnson. I … Continue reading Visualizing Deviance: The Promiscuous (Heterosexual World of Sport)

“the ties that bind are also those that rip people apart”

[SPOILERS.] [From the film August: Osage County, one of my favorite films.] [SPOILERS.] “Not even Jean, Bill and Barbara’s teenage daughter, is safe from her grandmother’s foul mouth. Moreover, as the young girl declares her preference for vegetarian food over the funeral dinner, saying that she refuses to ingest the butchered animal’s fear, the whole … Continue reading “the ties that bind are also those that rip people apart”

The Approach-Avoidance Dance, Excerpt from Intimate Strangers: Men and Women Together by Lillian B. Rubin

“Intimacy. We hunger for it, but we also fear it. We come close to a loved one, then we back off. A teacher I had once described this as the “go away a little closer” message. I call it the approach-avoidance dance. The conventional wisdom says that women want intimacy, men resist it. And I … Continue reading The Approach-Avoidance Dance, Excerpt from Intimate Strangers: Men and Women Together by Lillian B. Rubin