Visualizing Deviance: The Promiscuous (Heterosexual World of Sport)

Before I was married, I truly lived the bachelor’s life. I’m no Wilt Chamberlain, but as I traveled around NBA cities, I was never at a loss for female companionship. . . . There were just some bachelors almost every woman in L.A. wanted to be with: Eddie Murphy, Arsenio Hall, and Magic Johnson. I … Continue reading Visualizing Deviance: The Promiscuous (Heterosexual World of Sport)

“the ties that bind are also those that rip people apart”

[SPOILERS.] [From the film August: Osage County, one of my favorite films.] [SPOILERS.] “Not even Jean, Bill and Barbara’s teenage daughter, is safe from her grandmother’s foul mouth. Moreover, as the young girl declares her preference for vegetarian food over the funeral dinner, saying that she refuses to ingest the butchered animal’s fear, the whole … Continue reading “the ties that bind are also those that rip people apart”

The Approach-Avoidance Dance, Excerpt from Intimate Strangers: Men and Women Together by Lillian B. Rubin

“Intimacy. We hunger for it, but we also fear it. We come close to a loved one, then we back off. A teacher I had once described this as the “go away a little closer” message. I call it the approach-avoidance dance. The conventional wisdom says that women want intimacy, men resist it. And I … Continue reading The Approach-Avoidance Dance, Excerpt from Intimate Strangers: Men and Women Together by Lillian B. Rubin

The Gendered Domestic Division of Labor

“One of the main reasons men benefit from marriage is the unequal and taken-for-granted division of domestic labor. Research shows that women historically have shouldered the overwhelming bulk of responsibility for doing household labor, spending three times the amount of time as men doing routine everyday household tasks (for a review, see Coltrane, 2000 [see … Continue reading The Gendered Domestic Division of Labor

The Second Shift: Nancy and Evan Holt and the “Upstairs-Downstairs” Myth

“One day, when I asked Nancy [the wife] to tell me who did which tasks from a long list of households chores, she interrupted me with a broad wave of her hand and said, “I do the upstairs, Evan [the husband] does the downstairs.” What does that mean? I asked. Matter-of-factly, she explained that the … Continue reading The Second Shift: Nancy and Evan Holt and the “Upstairs-Downstairs” Myth