The “Shame Cycle”: Addiction and Depression in Covertly Depressed Men

“With each new failure, my father became more bellicose and dismissive. And as his attitude worsened, he found it ever more difficult to succeed. The defenses one chooses to avoid shame often afford relief while breeding more shame. Addiction experts have termed this pattern a “shame cycle.” The covertly depressed man’s defensive maneuvers or addictions … Continue reading The “Shame Cycle”: Addiction and Depression in Covertly Depressed Men

Batterers, Abandonment, and Love Addiction: Jimmy’s Story

“Jimmy, like most of the male batterers I have encountered, suffered from both forms of addictive intoxication: the need for merger with an abundant other and the need to wrestle nature, as represented by his wife, into submission. Shirley helped me see the connection between the two forms of intoxication in a couple’s therapy session … Continue reading Batterers, Abandonment, and Love Addiction: Jimmy’s Story

Male Battering of Women as Medicating Covert Depression

“When Jimmy lashed out at Shirley, he was, as one abuse expert terms it, “offending from the victim position.” This is perhaps the most common pattern of male violence toward women. Flooded with depression and feelings of victimization, Jimmy used rage to physiologically pump up his sense of deflation. Research shows that rage simultaneously releases … Continue reading Male Battering of Women as Medicating Covert Depression