Trying to Like It

“Whereas women used the previous two strategies to try to control men’s behavior, some developed a different type of strategy through which they tried to manipulate their own subjective experiences of an oppressive sexual situation. Fearing reprisals, young women often felt they could not control the material circumstances of their unpleasant or victimizing hetero-relational encounters. … Continue reading Trying to Like It

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Mastering the Male Body

“A related strategy involved “mastering the male body.” Here, women learned how to manipulate men's bodies to make them ejaculate quickly, so that they could end unpleasant sexual experiences as soon as possible. As with “stroking egos,” this strategy allowed young women to get it over with without men ever knowing that their partners were … Continue reading Mastering the Male Body

Stroking Egos

“For some young women, getting it over with entailed, as Cynthia put it, “stroking men’s egos,” by telling their partners that they were enjoying painful or even abusive encounters, when in fact they were not. Stroking male egos was a way for participants to remain “pleasing women” by not complaining or disrupting men’s pleasure with … Continue reading Stroking Egos

“He Was So Good to Me, I Could Never Call It Abuse”

“While many women were taught that men are aggressive and unreliable, they were also exposed to the normal/danger dichotomy discourse, which told them that there are “good guys” and “bad guys,” and that one should not be confused with the other. As we saw in women’s recollections of their early educations, most girls were warned … Continue reading “He Was So Good to Me, I Could Never Call It Abuse”

On “Compliments”

"But as a man, you never have to wonder if that ‘compliment’ is going to lead to you getting into trouble. As a man, you can play up the compliment or reject their attention. But you don’t have the anxiety of making sure you don’t either lead them on, getting you into trouble, or get … Continue reading On “Compliments”